AP Motherhood

I was always a good student – the kind my principal has currently labeled teacher-pleasers. I was curious too, however. I was just good at school (maybe that is why I am still there?) When Nora was first born, I read every book I could get my hands on. I wanted to know everything about babies, what I should be doing with her, what to expect, how to fix every little and big problem that could arise. My mom called it “AP Motherhood.”

I reviewed my Toddler 411 book on Sunday night just to be prepared for my first real day of summer at home with Nora.

And Monday was great! She napped well in her crib all by herself. Operation Nap in Crib, which had been postponed numerous times since the crib napping stopped in December, seemed to be a great success. She loved her swimming lessons, as usual. We had a great time at the park in the morning. She ate all her dinner without much fuss and gave me at least ten kisses before bed – on alternating cheeks,of course.

And then Tuesday happened. She woke up too early – 5:30 – for both of us. She was cranky and so was I. We went to walk at the lake to give her an opportunity to sleep more, which of course she didn’t. Then we had a good bit of playing, but by 11 she was zonked so she went down for her nap an hour early. She slept for only 45 minutes in her crib and then another 45 minutes on me. She ate some lunch and we had a good couple hours of adorable toddler playing with me seemingly saying “careful” a million times as she ran and climbed and reached both inside and out. And then I let her fall asleep in her stroller around 5. And I woke her up after 30 minutes because I was afraid she would just sleep all night. And she was MAD. So mad only Elmo videos on YouTube could cure it.

An AP mom wouldn’t let her child watch Elmo since the AAP says no media before 2 years old. An AP mom would have known to just weather the last tired hours and put her to bed a bit early instead of napping in the stroller. An AP mom would never have had to do Operation Nap In Crib in the first place. So then my mom guilt sinks in and I read my mom blogs and my mom books trying to figure out how to fix it all for tomorrow.

But then, before bed, she wiggles her fingers, claps her hands, says “mo” when I rub her legs. She kisses me on both cheeks and gives me a big hug when I ask and I realize that I don’t really need to fix anything for tomorrow. I just need to enjoy all of the moments, the good and the bad, that I am lucky to have time off to be a part of.