Asserting her Independence

Nora is definitely a toddler. Everything I read (remember – I read a lot about babies…) warned me that 18 months would be the beginning of the real toddler stage. And though she isn’t quite 18 months yet, I think she’s definitely there. Some of the same old rituals that were always easy and never a fight have become either much more long and drawn out or sometimes a fight.

We used to say, “Nora, do you want to go bye bye in the car?” and she would run to the door and wait to be picked up and carried and nicely placed into her carseat. Now she does the same running to the door, but insists on walking herself out to the car. Which is all well and good, except that she always gets some sand in her shoe once we get down the steps and she just freezes or tries to place her little butt on one of the stepping stones so I can take the sand out. Sometimes this is no big deal. Other times – like when we are going to the pool and I am carrying a lot of gear – it is really hard to stop and fix her shoe. Once we get into the carseat she is still pretty good; now she likes to help with the buckle and eat some of the stale cheerios she left there on a previous trip.

Nora’s word of the week is cracker – or “caca.” She knows just where we keep the crackers and, fortunately for her, she can open that cabinet and reach in to grab some. The thing is, however, that the enticement of getting her own cracker out of the cabinet that she opens herself is much greater than actually eating the cracker. Thus, we end up with piles of half eaten crackers all around the house. I told Ken we need a cabinet lock – he says I should just “set the limits” myself. We’ll see.

And bedtime, though still (dare I say it) relatively smooth, is also becoming a place for Nora to assert her independence. We used to just always read Good Night Moon, sing Tender Shepherd two or three times and go in the crib. Well, Good Night Moon is apparently yesterday’s news and now we read Olivia and a birthday book that Nora refers to as “bunnies” because it is the bunny’s birthday. She would like to read them both two or three times – but I draw the line and just start singing and she usually is so tired she gives in. One day soon I know she’ll beg me to stop singing – once she realizes that I can’t sing…

And the biggest one is probably eating. Sometimes she REFUSES to go in her high chair. Ken says it’s like trying to put a cat in a bathtub. Three days ago all she wanted was pasta or strawberries. Today she cried (really cried) when I tried to serve her pasta for lunch. Today she likes cheese and asparagus (she ate six stalks for dinner). The food thing is so hard because I want her to eat for her health and well-being. I love her baby chub and don’t want her to lose her leg rolls any time soon. When she shows me her “gelly” I want it to be full and round. So, like I usually do, I read up tonight on the picky eating phase and realized (again) that this is what she is supposed to be doing. Reading that made me feel better and made dinner tonight less of a fight.

As annoying as some of this asserting her independence can be, it is really sort of gratifying to see her truly becoming a little person. She’s learning how everything in the world works – which must be so overwhelming at times. She constantly explores and experiments with what her limits are. And even though she is Miss Independent these days, she is still really little and cuddly and sweet.