I woke up at 5 today. Nora slept until 6:30.
I didn't get up or out of bed, but I opened my eyes, checked the time and then had trouble quelling the start of school thoughts that started bombarding my brain. Bulletin boards, photo copies, lesson plans (that's not important!), desk arrangement, cart building, supply organizing. The items on my to-do list seemed to go on forever. And they prevented me from sleeping "late" on one of the few mornings where Nora gave me that opportunity. Cruel irony.
I am still not ready. I will be going in tomorrow to clean and organize and to do some of the last photocopying. I have planned my lessons and placed my desks (and Ken built my cart!), but I still don't feel ready. Hopefully I will when Monday morning rolls around.
We are clearing some of the hurdles I wrote about last time. Ken went to the grocery store. Nora's diaper rash is so much better and she hasn't had another 4:30 day (writing that will surely curse me...). They started giving us more written notes at daycare to tell us what is going on with her each day. She seems to be napping at least 2 hours at daycare each day. And next week is furry animal week. And they are going to jump around in furry animal slippers! How fun!
Oh. And she's not allergic to peanut butter. They fed her peanut butter crackers at daycare and she was still alive when we picked her up.
Showing posts with label going back to work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label going back to work. Show all posts
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Clearing the Hurdles
Nora ate cheetos for dinner tonight. They were the “natural” kind, but still a horrible horrible dinner. A symptom of the larger problem – we have not established our school year routine yet. Thus we have no plan for dinner each night.
We didn’t feed her the cheetos on purpose. Ken was snacking on them and thus Nora wanted them. He gave her one. I said, “oh-no,” knowing that one cheeto is never enough for any normal human being. And Nora proved to be normal, wanting cheeto after cheeto until they were “ga-ga” from dad’s bowl. So when I offered her three different choices of things at dinner, she was already full.
This cheeto dinner made a great ending to a day that began at 4:30 am. I hope that it is Nora’s teeth and the change of routine that is causing the sleep disruption. She was doing so well! I was feeling so rested! But I guess good things have to come to an end. And hopefully bad things do too.
As I’ve written earlier, routines are really important to me, and I think to Nora too (as evidenced by the 4:30 wake up). This first real week back at work is so hard because, not only am I taking Nora to daycare full days for the first week, but I am not at school for my normal routine. I have to be at different places at different times for different trainings, all of which seem pointless to me. Next week, when the kids come, my routine will be a bit more set, but I have to survive this week first.
So far Nora is a star at daycare. They told me last Friday that they hoped to have a cloning closet this week so all the new toddlers would be as agreeable as she is. She didn’t cry at all last week, not once when I left and not once all day while I was gone. She didn’t eat all of her lunch or snack, but I think she is doing better this week. And she did cry yesterday when one of the teachers was giving someone else some attention after a fall. Nora wanted attention too.
She comes home so happy it makes me happy too. She jabbers about buses and taxis all the way home in the car. She comes into the house and immediately finds something fun to play with. I wonder if I think she is so adorable just because I’ve missed her, or if she does just get cuter as she learns new things every day. Or maybe she is trying to be extra cute so I don’t hate her when she cries at 4:30 am.
Aside from the routine being all out of whack and messing with our healthy eating habits, despite her cuteness and resilience, it just isn’t the same to be away from Nora all day. Tonight before bed, Nora whimpered and said “butt.” She has a terrible diaper rash, and as I put layer upon layer of aquaphor on it I couldn’t help but feel so guilty. If she was here with me her little butt wouldn’t be so red. I would change her diaper more often since I know she is teething.
So the first hurdles of the year back at work. We will get over them just like we did last year. It is just painful having to start the journey.
We didn’t feed her the cheetos on purpose. Ken was snacking on them and thus Nora wanted them. He gave her one. I said, “oh-no,” knowing that one cheeto is never enough for any normal human being. And Nora proved to be normal, wanting cheeto after cheeto until they were “ga-ga” from dad’s bowl. So when I offered her three different choices of things at dinner, she was already full.
This cheeto dinner made a great ending to a day that began at 4:30 am. I hope that it is Nora’s teeth and the change of routine that is causing the sleep disruption. She was doing so well! I was feeling so rested! But I guess good things have to come to an end. And hopefully bad things do too.
As I’ve written earlier, routines are really important to me, and I think to Nora too (as evidenced by the 4:30 wake up). This first real week back at work is so hard because, not only am I taking Nora to daycare full days for the first week, but I am not at school for my normal routine. I have to be at different places at different times for different trainings, all of which seem pointless to me. Next week, when the kids come, my routine will be a bit more set, but I have to survive this week first.
So far Nora is a star at daycare. They told me last Friday that they hoped to have a cloning closet this week so all the new toddlers would be as agreeable as she is. She didn’t cry at all last week, not once when I left and not once all day while I was gone. She didn’t eat all of her lunch or snack, but I think she is doing better this week. And she did cry yesterday when one of the teachers was giving someone else some attention after a fall. Nora wanted attention too.
She comes home so happy it makes me happy too. She jabbers about buses and taxis all the way home in the car. She comes into the house and immediately finds something fun to play with. I wonder if I think she is so adorable just because I’ve missed her, or if she does just get cuter as she learns new things every day. Or maybe she is trying to be extra cute so I don’t hate her when she cries at 4:30 am.
Aside from the routine being all out of whack and messing with our healthy eating habits, despite her cuteness and resilience, it just isn’t the same to be away from Nora all day. Tonight before bed, Nora whimpered and said “butt.” She has a terrible diaper rash, and as I put layer upon layer of aquaphor on it I couldn’t help but feel so guilty. If she was here with me her little butt wouldn’t be so red. I would change her diaper more often since I know she is teething.
So the first hurdles of the year back at work. We will get over them just like we did last year. It is just painful having to start the journey.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
RIP Summer Vacation
It’s the night before Daycare and all through the house, the mother is stressing, but not her spouse.
So tomorrow is it. Then end of my summer. And Nora will go to daycare and Ken will get his quiet house back and all will return to the chaos of normal that is the school year.
I took Nora to daycare to “visit” on Friday and I’m really glad I did. She was a bit shy at first – she clearly remembered where we were. The director just took her from me even though Nora was clingy. She didn’t cry. She sat on the director’s lap and said some unintelligible words and took it all in. After a brief visit to her new room – the “butterflies” – we went to the office to fill out paperwork. Nora left my side willingly to go and play with one of her teachers from last year who was in the office covering bulletin boards. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
While that has made my weekend much less stressful than if she had been a screaming mess during the visit, it hasn’t made me stress free. I am not nearly as anxious as last year. I am not shedding tears into my keyboard right now. I enjoyed my day with Nora today (despite her early waking and short nap).
But every now and then I do stop and think. Will she cry in the morning? Will the teachers understand her words? Will she nap?
And the big one – will she eat?. Can I send my own snack even if they give them snack? When will she drink her milk? She grazes all day with me and I help feed her still. She is no pro with a spoon or fork. So my biggest stress is what to send her for lunch. What will she be in the mood for? What can she feed herself?
No one can answer these questions for me right now (unless anyone cares to comment with some brilliant ideas on what toddlers eat for lunch), so I just have to tell myself that we’ll figure it out over the week, over the month and all will be okay.
Nora is a social baby – she likes other kids – as evidenced from our trip to the pool today where she said “hi” to everyone and their parents and shared toys with a 23 month old boy. She’ll be fine at daycare tomorrow. Maybe if I tell myself that enough throughout the day, I’ll be fine too. Maybe.
So tomorrow is it. Then end of my summer. And Nora will go to daycare and Ken will get his quiet house back and all will return to the chaos of normal that is the school year.
I took Nora to daycare to “visit” on Friday and I’m really glad I did. She was a bit shy at first – she clearly remembered where we were. The director just took her from me even though Nora was clingy. She didn’t cry. She sat on the director’s lap and said some unintelligible words and took it all in. After a brief visit to her new room – the “butterflies” – we went to the office to fill out paperwork. Nora left my side willingly to go and play with one of her teachers from last year who was in the office covering bulletin boards. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
While that has made my weekend much less stressful than if she had been a screaming mess during the visit, it hasn’t made me stress free. I am not nearly as anxious as last year. I am not shedding tears into my keyboard right now. I enjoyed my day with Nora today (despite her early waking and short nap).
But every now and then I do stop and think. Will she cry in the morning? Will the teachers understand her words? Will she nap?
And the big one – will she eat?. Can I send my own snack even if they give them snack? When will she drink her milk? She grazes all day with me and I help feed her still. She is no pro with a spoon or fork. So my biggest stress is what to send her for lunch. What will she be in the mood for? What can she feed herself?
No one can answer these questions for me right now (unless anyone cares to comment with some brilliant ideas on what toddlers eat for lunch), so I just have to tell myself that we’ll figure it out over the week, over the month and all will be okay.
Nora is a social baby – she likes other kids – as evidenced from our trip to the pool today where she said “hi” to everyone and their parents and shared toys with a 23 month old boy. She’ll be fine at daycare tomorrow. Maybe if I tell myself that enough throughout the day, I’ll be fine too. Maybe.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Temporary SAHM
I practiced going to work last week. I had an AP conference for 4 days, from 8 to 4:30, pretty much the same hours I will be at school in just three short weeks. But really this is my last week off – my last week to be the temporary stay at home mom.
All summer I’ve tried to remind myself that my stint as a SAHM is temporary. It will repeat itself in 10 months, but it is temporary nonetheless. Last year, when I had to transition back to work from being home with Nora for seven months, I was a total basketcase. How could I send her to daycare? They would never love her like I do. How could I be a good teacher? I wouldn’t have the time to work as hard. I cried every morning when I dropped her off, later in the day at work, and at night when I reflected on just how hard all of this was. It was awful. It was surely the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my entire life.
So this summer I made my best effort to remind myself of the fleeting nature of summer vacation at every possible turn. And I will admit that there were some moments, especially early on as I transitioned to being home, that I wondered if I would survive staying home, that I wished daycare was still an option. But I haven’t had one of those moments recently and looking at the calendar and seeing my Nora time diminishing is starting to make me teary eyed again.
The practice run was great. Nora was with Mimi and Papa, certainly only second to Elmo as people to spend time with. She asks for Mimi and Papa at the lunch table and in the car. So I wasn’t worried about her. I knew they would love her back – not like I do – but pretty close. And she is old enough to communicate now, so they would know just what she needed. The first three days of the conference, I left the house without a problem – said goodbye, got in the car, drove to UT, sat in class – it was all fine. But on the fourth day, when I realized that this practice run was going to become reality rather quickly, I cried on my way out the door.
Sending Nora to Mimi and Papa is one thing. Sending her to daycare is another. She will have new teachers, new classmates, new sickesses (please, not as bad as last year.!). So I sit anticipating it two weeks before it will happen. I know it won’t be as hard as last year, but it will be hard.
The thing is, I just need it to happen. And I need my students in my classroom. The week of teacher prep only gives me time to wonder what Nora is doing, to think about what I would be doing with her if we were home. Once those students walk into my room, I am distracted and dedicated – not that I ever forget about Nora. This anticipation is really the worst part.
And, when it really comes down to it, I think if I didn’t stand at the front of a room full on teenagers on August 24, if I got up, watched Elmo, chased Nora around the yard, said hello to the chickens down the street, I would begin to miss that part of my life too. I really do love teaching. I just hate leaving Nora.
All summer I’ve tried to remind myself that my stint as a SAHM is temporary. It will repeat itself in 10 months, but it is temporary nonetheless. Last year, when I had to transition back to work from being home with Nora for seven months, I was a total basketcase. How could I send her to daycare? They would never love her like I do. How could I be a good teacher? I wouldn’t have the time to work as hard. I cried every morning when I dropped her off, later in the day at work, and at night when I reflected on just how hard all of this was. It was awful. It was surely the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my entire life.
So this summer I made my best effort to remind myself of the fleeting nature of summer vacation at every possible turn. And I will admit that there were some moments, especially early on as I transitioned to being home, that I wondered if I would survive staying home, that I wished daycare was still an option. But I haven’t had one of those moments recently and looking at the calendar and seeing my Nora time diminishing is starting to make me teary eyed again.
The practice run was great. Nora was with Mimi and Papa, certainly only second to Elmo as people to spend time with. She asks for Mimi and Papa at the lunch table and in the car. So I wasn’t worried about her. I knew they would love her back – not like I do – but pretty close. And she is old enough to communicate now, so they would know just what she needed. The first three days of the conference, I left the house without a problem – said goodbye, got in the car, drove to UT, sat in class – it was all fine. But on the fourth day, when I realized that this practice run was going to become reality rather quickly, I cried on my way out the door.
Sending Nora to Mimi and Papa is one thing. Sending her to daycare is another. She will have new teachers, new classmates, new sickesses (please, not as bad as last year.!). So I sit anticipating it two weeks before it will happen. I know it won’t be as hard as last year, but it will be hard.
The thing is, I just need it to happen. And I need my students in my classroom. The week of teacher prep only gives me time to wonder what Nora is doing, to think about what I would be doing with her if we were home. Once those students walk into my room, I am distracted and dedicated – not that I ever forget about Nora. This anticipation is really the worst part.
And, when it really comes down to it, I think if I didn’t stand at the front of a room full on teenagers on August 24, if I got up, watched Elmo, chased Nora around the yard, said hello to the chickens down the street, I would begin to miss that part of my life too. I really do love teaching. I just hate leaving Nora.
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